At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
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