Porn is love you can see.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize