'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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