South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
