so explain again why im purple
no
I skipped work to stalk him.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
