so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
