Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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