Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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