its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
