Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
