I think I am morally bankrupt
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
