wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Threesome in a minivan. New low
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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