We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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