Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I supernannyed him into submission
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
