so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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