i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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