I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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