did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Randomize
