who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
