Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
