somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize