none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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