I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
