...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
