He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
