If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
