i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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