belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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