We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
