just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize