Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
