Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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