Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Bring me that man meat
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I came so hard my ears popped.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
