He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
You can't special order awesome
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
