I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
