I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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