i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
