Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
