if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
