is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
