No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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