Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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