The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
