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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
