I must be too annoying 4 u.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
