just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
