life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
