sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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