we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
