I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
