I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
40s are totally the cure
Randomize
