So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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