so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
