Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
