Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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