This dress was meant to end up on your floor
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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