I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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