I wannas sexs uuuuu
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
