You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just invented taco cereal.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
